I think one of the worst things you can do in a relationship is to act as if you're the victim. I'm not talking about being a victim of an abusive relationship. Now, that's simply wrong. I'm talking about telling the other person or even thinking that you're the one who should be comforted, you're the person who is on the losing side, you're the one who's tired, you're the one who's busy, you're the one who's being neglected, you're the one who's making the sacrifices, and the other person is basically an insensitive and selfish ass hole who doesn't truly love you. Do you do that? Do you sacrifice for someone and make sure that the other person knows about the fact that you've made the sacrifice? Is it really a sacrifice if you're actively seeking some sort of recognition? What makes you feel that your life is harder to live than the other's? Just because the other person doesn't show the same type of symptoms as you do, doesn't mean that the other person has no worries whatsoever. Let's just say, for the sake of the argument, that the other person really doesn't have any worries. Does that mean you should try and make his life more "exciting" by introducing pointless arguments that point back to the alledged fact that you're the victim of the relationship? You may think that you're the victim and you're doing all the sacrificing, but if you were to have a real good look at yourself you just might start to realize that you're basically asking everything to revolve around you, you, you, and only you.

I've always thought, and still do, that there's never a time when one person is 100% at fault in a relationship. You can always imagine a case where either one of the person acts in a totally altruistic way (I don't believe in pure altruism, but that's a whole another entry) and give in to the other person. However, that's a lose-win situation.... a zero sum game. That's not an ideal relationship. If you think you can live your life in a constant lose-win struggle, then you're obviously a better person than I am. Maybe it's my scientific mindset that drives me, but I prefer a win-win situation... a positive sum game. You try for a certain period of time doing your very best to understand the other person's situation, then you try to see if you can show the other person where you're coming from. You're trying to find a way to bring out the win-win solution. Take a moment and think about how you act to your significant other. Are you guilty of the "victim of the relationship" syndrome? I'm sure everyone is guilty to some extent, but so long as you're aware of it you can either decide to change yourself or find somebody else who can put up with that sort of behavior. That's the only two options you're left with after you've given your shot at trying to make the relationship work for both parties involved.

Everyone has the right to be happy. If you really love that other person you'll naturally do your best to make that other person happy. However, if that process involves making yourself unhappy then perhaps you two are simply not compatible. Being in love with somebody and being a compatible partner are two different things. Think wisely.